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Writer's pictureJoy Berkheimer

Shibari & Tantra

Shibari and Tantra



As the fall season approaches, it’s the time of the year to spice up your coffee and cocktails. So why not add a little flavor to your intimacy? Shibari is a technique for couples to experiment with using ropes. It’s a traditional Japanese-style rope bondage with an array of artistic styles. This activity is another way to enhance trust and communication in a relationship. 


Shibari is sort of a power play between partners as they tie each other up during loving moments. It’s the practice of tying up your boo using interesting knots. This is the art of letting go and learning how to surrender. 


Check out ways to unravel the ins and out of Shibari.


  1. As you create patterns, ask your partner how they feel. 


  1. Focus on the sensations and emotions attached to each movement as the rigger, the person tying, takes control of their partner’s experience. 


  1. Let your partner know what you like and dislike. If something feels great, tell them, just as if another thing feels bad, express your feelings openly. 


  1. As you tie one another, you discover what you all do and don’t enjoy. This promotes more organic communication and trust as you all navigate through erotica.



Tantra goes hand in hand with Shibari. Tanta literally means to loop or weave. This practice engages in sexual and spiritual experiences. Tantra allows you to learn your body and become more in-tune. You identify your body’s wants and needs to get them fulfilled. The great thing is tantra may intensify your orgasm. Who doesn’t love that? Tantra encourages you and your partner to live in the moment and embrace your energies. You’ll learn a fresh side of your partner through uniting your mind, body, and soul. 


Let’s review a few passionate points of tantra.

  1. Free your mind


A clear mind is essential to have success. Give yourself permission to break out of your comfort zone. Meditation may help cancel out thoughts and prepare you for tantra by utilizing proper breathing techniques. Inhale and exhale slowly. Repeat it until your heartbeat is calm. Join hands to align on the same wavelength and share positive energy.



  1. Turn off the lights


Design a cozy and quiet space where you all can relax and let your journey happen naturally. Light candles as aromatherapy sets the mood and play romantic music on low. Turn on vibes to get you where you need to go.


  1. Let’s get it started


Foreplay is definitely on the menu before indulging in the entree. Rub oil gently on your partner and explore each other’s bodies. Perform oral sex to get it started (if sex is the goal.) If you want to go another route, take a hot bubble bath together. Throw on your robes and relax, but stay close. Embrace their presence and don’t be shy to express your love. 


  1. Hold on to your love


Keep in mind that sex and clothes are optional. Ending the night with cuddling is completely okay. Go with the flow and enjoy!



Ready to try it? 


  1. Throw it in the bag


Go to Amazon.com to search for “Shibari ropes”, starting at $10. There’s a good amount of materials and colors for your liking. While you’re there shopping, add sensual oils and candles to your cart. Take it a step further and buy a sexy number to entice your bae.


  1. Google it


As you wait for your items to arrive, log on to search for local classes to locate the Shibari community near you. You are sure to meet cool rope enthusiasts. Also research various ways to tie and save the pictures to use as a guide later.


  1. Let me upgrade you


Shibari is a great way to take your dates to another level. Get out of your mundane routine of dinner and a movie. This practice is something different and new that may liven your partnership. 


  1. Touch me, tease me


Shibari incorporates massages with a dash of playfulness to grow your connection. Test your boundaries - you might surprise yourself. You can dedicate time often to explore trends and approaches to deepen your bond.



Now that you have all the tools, mention it to your partner. Figure out if they are open to trying something new as you reveal details of the techniques. If they’re down, share the information and pictures to give them a dose of reality. Discuss your boundaries to make sure both of you are comfortable. This may change, but it’s always a great idea to set the tone to avoid any surprises. Set a date to bond and get all tied up. 


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