It’s a new year and your resolutions are waiting to get accomplished. Most people say
they want to lose weight, save money, or get a new job. But what about personal goals
that aren’t tied to money or dropping pounds? One thing that is ever-changing is the
dating world. Trends and their weird names come and go. It’s hard to keep up with what
bread-crumbing or love bombing means. It’s like we need a dictionary to define it all.
One thing that hasn’t changed are the struggles of being a single goddess. From dating
apps to getting ghosted, it’s an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes you want to get off
the ride and sit on the sidelines. Even if you have thick skin, sometimes the side effects
of dating make you sick to your stomach. Eventually, you get so drained all you want to
do is take a break. Soon you’re deleting Bumble and your situationship contacts. Your
phone is dry. At first, you can’t stop checking to see if it is still working. Yes, your ringer
is on and you don’t have any missed calls. You’re craving any kind of attention, yet
fighting the urge to create a profile or call your ex. Once you get over the hump, you
begin to get used to the peace. Your mindset changes to focus on other things rather
than dwelling on what you’re missing out on. FOMO disappears and you enjoy binge
watching Netflix in your comfy pajamas week after week.
Welcome to me season! Yes, it’s all about you and it’s not selfish. It’s selfless and a must
to get to know yourself. You’re not the goddess you were in 2022, or you shouldn’t be.
Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger. We all should strive to be a better version of ourselves
over time. After every relationship or situationship, it’s ideal to take some time to heal.
Think about what went wrong, hold yourself accountable, and learn the lessons. You
have to be honest and look at both sides. You may not have contributed to the break up
and it may be all their fault or vice versa. Either way, dissect how things unfolded and
ensure that you are ready to not make the same mistakes again. Are you choosing the
same type of people or ignoring big red flags? If there is a common denominator, work
on getting that under control to stop the cycle. Making conscious decisions of what not
to do moving forward is creating a new standard. It’s important to keep them high and
don’t let the next person cross your boundaries. No matter how cute or amazing they
are, stick to your guns and make logical choices. It saves you heartache in the long run.
As you practice that dating method to actually do what you say you want to do that
aligns with your standards and boundaries, you’ll feel liberated. It’s a great phase to get
to and the more work you do healing yourself, the more growth you’ll have. You want to
get to a point that no matter what, you’ll uphold your standards and don’t bend for
anyone. You’ll thank yourself later. Trust me.
In 2023, women are not worried about finding a partner in the same way we used to.
Gone are the days when we are desperate and settling. You aren’t thirsty and focused on
getting married. The relationship status doesn’t define your life. You don’t feel obligated
to do what your family or society wants you to do. You no longer look the other way
when we spot a huge red flag or give the benefit of the doubt. Anytime you sense
something is off, it’s time to go. No more over-analyzing or stressing over why they
stopped texting as much or why their effort has changed. You are not staying in places
longer than you should or that no longer serve you. You are not accepting the bare
minimum or being impressed by anything that is less than what you deserve. If a suitor is a wonderful communicator, handy around your house, and washes your car, perfect!
Your partner should meet those needs on a regular basis. They’re thoughtful and
considerate, buy your favorite items, and listen to you vent. They support you and give
you compliments. They love celebrating anniversaries and the holidays, down to the
matching flannel joggers. You’re so in love and you can’t believe you finally met
someone that checks all your boxes. Then in between the bliss, they make plans and
break them. They’re more flaky than a croissant. They’re overly sensitive as they get
upset easily from assuming or taking something you said the wrong way…every week.
Next thing you know, they tell you again that they need space and few days away from
you physically and virtually. Then repeat. It’s an ugly pattern that they set and now
you’re not the least bit surprised when it happens again for the fifty-eleventh time. Their
behavior is a turn-off and you’re starting to see them in a different light. Although
they’re a unicorn 90%, the other 10% isn’t worth it. They only see you when it’s
convenient for them. They make you wait until the last minute to let you know if they
want to hang out because they’re waiting to see if something better comes along. You’re
not a toy they can play with and then put in the corner when they have a tantrum.
They committed to you quickly so you thought they knew what they wanted. You admired
their decisiveness. Now they reveal they’re having relationship anxiety and don’t know if
they want to be in a committed relationship. Your softer side instantly goes dormant.
You’re disappointed because you hadn’t allowed that part of you to come out in years.
You thought being that kind of girlfriend was the past. You’ve lost faith in them and
can’t believe their words anymore. Their actions don’t match and you question their
promises in the back of your mind. The back and forth isn’t worth it. Now what? You
choose you. That’s what we’re doing in 2023. It’s better to be single when dating comes
with so many strings attached. Cut them! We’re giving ourselves closure, even if they
disappear. They couldn’t handle you, it’s that simple. They may have been intimidated
or insecure. Not your problem.
This year, some women plan to practice celibacy. Hello rose vibrators! Women aren’t
having sex without a commitment in 2023. If you can’t call them during an emergency
or count on them for anything, they don’t deserve your cookies. Welcome the solo and
girls trips. Get sexier. Get healthy. Stack your money. Take your business to the next
level. Don’t wait to be chosen, choose you. When you revamp your mindset, your goals,
boundaries, and standards, the people you used to settle for aren’t attractive. You don’t
even look their way. We are not rushing to get back out there. You’re dating when the
time is naturally right. Do you!
Work on every layer. Do the work and dig deep. Go to counseling and elevate your mental health to be better than ever. It’s called protecting your peace. Anyone who tries to steal your joy or serenity is not the one. When you change your energy, you attract people on higher wavelengths. Good vibes only. Once you meet the next person, you can’t wait for tests because you know you’ll pass. That muscle memory ain’t a joke. Remembering how you felt when old buddy did and said xyz hits differently when you promise yourself to never be that girl again. Transforming into her is beyond amazing.
You’re proud of the goddess you’re becoming. You have that beautiful goddess glow. BS won’t be able to penetrate your peace. Your heart is guarded, but your wall isn’t up. It’s still open for love business. You know how to separate your emotions from logic when you need to. Live your life and be unapologetically you!