Dating is hard, but dating while being bisexual has its own set of challenges. Being attracted to men and women enlarges your pool of prospects. It also welcomes many hurdles to finding love and being accepted. Your preferences change as you meet different people. There are many misconceptions about bisexual women. Some assume that if you date a man that you are suddenly straight. The same idea goes for you if you are with a woman that you instantly are a lesbian. A bisexual person does not turn a switch to match with the gender they are involved with in a relationship. Owning who you are is so important and allowing others to guess isn’t a good start. Telling your potential mates about your bisexuality is essential. Bisexuals are good for more than threesomes and some solely want one lover. Some people won’t care while others may not want to give you a chance. The right person will embrace your choice and accept it. Possibly annoying questions may frustrate you when a new suitor thinks they have you figured out. Committing to someone’s gender doesn’t mean that you abandoned your bisexuality. They just happen to be who you are interested in getting to know at that time. Sometimes their insecurities are the root of the suspicions. Let’s discuss common issues you may encounter while dating as a bisexual goddess.
1. No thank you
Everyone deals with rejection and it’s never something that makes you feel great. It hurts no matter how you cut it, especially when someone you really like turns you down or ghosts you. The amazing thing is you are unique in various ways. You are bisexual and you have to disclose that either way. No need to wait because it is nothing to be secretive about. Some people buy into the stereotypes such as wondering if this is a phase or which gender you like more. They heard that bisexual people can’t be trusted and are cheaters. Well, unfaithful people are in every category. They may be afraid that you would leave them for the opposite gender, but in actuality, it has nothing to do with being bisexual. This can happen to anyone. Jealousy is jealousy.
2. Just want to be happy
Alexa play Mary J. Blige. Your community has a higher number of people that deal with depression and anxiety. From initially coming out to dating who you really want in public can be scary. Some are still living double lives due to fear of not being accepted by family or friends. Others are showing themselves to the world and are proud. Some people have problems accepting who they are. On top of that, you may experience sadness from being rejected by people outside of your community. Anxiety enters when you meet new people because you are not sure if they will reject you or relieve you from your worries. As always, seek counseling if you need help working through your concerns.
3. Talk that talk
Communication is crucial for all relationships. Without it, your foundation is flawed. Attempts for a successful partnership fall through the cracks. Relationships are easier when both people are transparent. Being able to talk to your partner about your feelings or issues brings you closer. Letting them know where you stand on topics allows you all to eliminate assumptions. Presuming how the other feels causes unnecessary disagreements. From day one, tell your dates that you are bisexual and let them inform you if they are comfortable with moving forward.
More opportunities arise as a bisexual woman. Couples seek women like you to enhance their life, also known as unicorn hunting. It’s like recurring committed threesomes. Or until you decide to move on. These couples are usually male and female who want an unattached bisexual woman. There’s slim pickings for unicorns, hence the title. Rare and magical are the icing on the cake. The catch is the couples do not wish for the unicorn to be with anyone else and want them to decline any offers.
Several obstacles occur in this situation. Adding a third could mess up their existing marriage or long-term commitment. One partner may fall in love or become jealous.
So they set boundaries to try to avoid dilemmas. Rules such as condoms only or not saying I love you when with third are a few. Unicorns have to agree to pre-set rules, which may scare them off since they are highly sought after. When joining a couple, they have the final say and the unicorn can’t vote. The unicorn has to deal with being okay as secondary to their relationship or possibly dealing with drama. The couple may put the unicorn in the middle to pick sides during disputes. When you present a package with so many stipulations, it isn’t as appealing. As a result, some hunters play if off as if you’re signing up for a great deal. The ads they post on dating sites utilize the phrase “secure couple” to attract unicorns that may be hesitant to apply for the job. Once they hire the unicorns, they reveal more requirements over time to ease them into the situation. It’s almost like a bait and switch. Beware of the red flags.
Is this ideal for couples or too risky? Couples have to be successful at being poly before searching for unicorns. This allows them to experiment with opening their relationship to outsiders to identify difficulties. Once those are sorted out, couples can slowly introduce people into their relationship. They should strive to be strong and emotionally aware to be able to handle anything. Being honest throughout the process is a must.
Those terms are unrealistic and that’s why they call it unicorn hunting. The term can be considered derogatory and predatory. It suggests women are prey and are treated as less than humans. It sends the message that unicorns are disposable women, who have no say in their romantic goals. These couples wish for the unicorn to be perfect from being submissive to looking very attractive. Are the couples being too controlling? How would you feel if people dictated ideas and gave you rules without considering what you desire?
Dating as a bisexual can be fun. Staying open-minded and exploring your options is exciting. Weigh the pros and cons of dating different people. Take baby steps to see what you like whether you choose to date heterosexuals or other bisexuals. The great part is that you have choices and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Be your authentic self.