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Hard Balling


Dating has another trend. Hard balling. The first thing that may come to mind is the phrase, “playing hard to get”. Staying along those lines, hard balling is stating exactly what you want unapologetically before meeting suitors for the initial outing. So, it’s not necessarily playing hard to get. It is letting the suitor know, “this is not a game”.


In the past, revealing too much about the future on a first date was taboo. People avoided mentioning the forbidden topics like marriage and kids. They feared it would scare them off, cutting dinner short. Check please! Nowadays, it’s becoming a welcomed fad. The pandemic erased a lot of hesitation about disclosing your preferences. It continues to remind us that life is too short, especially if you’ve been fronting. Say what you mean to say proudly. We are team honesty! This is not to say that there are not people still trying to pull the wool over people’s eyes. There will always be players tricking people with the bait-and-switch moves. It’s your job to learn how to spot them using your goddess intuition paired with your experiences.



Let’s check out the benefits of hard balling.

  1. Don’t waste time

This saves you, your car, and your closet time. No wasting cute outfits or gas on senseless dates that go nowhere. Gone are the days where you have to suffer through dinner, pretending you’re interested.

  1. No games

This removes a great deal of guesswork. Rather than wondering if they want a relationship or just a cut buddy, you can straight up ask them. You can tell them precisely what you are looking for. Whether you are open to a serious relationship, having children, or getting married is just fine to discuss.

  1. We have a runner


If you run them off, count your blessings. They probably weren’t right for you to begin with. It’s better to find out now instead of later.


  1. Bad apples


This technique filters out the wrong mates. Stating your must-haves is liberating. Discovering that your goals align is refreshing. Yet, realizing that you all aren’t on the same page could be disappointing. On the bright side, you made room for someone that might be a better match.


  1. Real talk


This approach encourages genuine conversations about your desires and deal breakers. You can then recognize their style of communication. They will either be transparent or tight-lipped. Exchanging personal information gives you insight on who they really are. It could strengthen or diminish your connection.


  1. You got it going on


Utilizing this method boosts your confidence. If you didn’t know yourself before, you’re sure to meet your true self now. Announcing what you will and will not accept sets boundaries. It urges them to respect you. They’ll acknowledge your intents and choose to take it or leave it.


  1. Purpose


This practice promotes dating with a purpose. If you haven’t started that yet, what are you waiting for? Your time is beyond valuable. As you encounter people, your preferences could change, and that’s okay. Sometimes people bring out different sides of you for the better. The takeaway is to make sure that your purpose is clear. Your decisions need to be parallel with your aspirations.


  1. Control


Alexa play Control by Janet Jackson. You must take control of your life or somebody else will. You have the master key and don’t hand out any copies. You call the shots. You’ll be proud of yourself. Do what you want. Don’t let people convince you to do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. If you believe something is not meant for you, then that’s what it is. If you don’t want to have a baby, don’t allow someone to persuade you to become a mom for the wrong reasons. Stick to your values.


  1. Bringing sexy back

You can get Drunk in Love and be happy as can be. Once you’ve crossed that threshold, anything you want goes. Hard balling doesn’t have to be just about the pre-date stage. You can introduce it in the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be 50 Shades of Grey, but you get the idea. Chatting about the levels of intimacy is vital to any relationship. You don’t want to find out they hate something during the act. Tell them if you’re into toys, role playing, multiple partners, and so on.


Welcome to hard balling. Let it be a part of many aspects of your dating life. Tell your potential mate what you need. Eventually, you will be with the right person who is on the same page as you. You get to define your relationship and choose to be in a “traditional” partnership, a poly one, or something in between. The idea is to specify what you want and accept nothing less. Let’s play hard ball!


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