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The Big O'



Who doesn’t crave the bio O?! How amazing it is, yet it doesn’t come as frequent for some or at all for others. Sexual pleasure is a must in your dating life. Without those rhythmic contractions that liberate sexual tension, your sensuality won’t reach its climax. Orgasms suddenly release endorphins, the feel good hormones. They’re also your body’s natural stress relievers and definitely enhance your satisfaction. These exhilarating chemicals give you a great mental state of mind while offering you euphoria. As you build up to your peak, your heart rate increases and you anticipate the explosion until you burst with delight.

These substances deepen your connection with your partner as they stimulate your bond. Aromatherapy can help you release endorphins, encouraging a calming feeling. The immediate relaxation brings you bliss as the orgasm tingles throughout your body. If you’re not experiencing these exciting spasms, let’s discover why you can’t get to where you need to go.


1. Get out of your head

You’re overthinking it. It’s simple as that. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself to have an orgasm, so much so that it doesn’t happen. You get too frustrated, making yourself tense up. This is the exact opposite of how you should be. Clear your mind and don’t worry about your to-do list. Try to enjoy sex and let it happen unexpectedly.


2. Tell me what you want

Alexa play Dru Hill. You have to let your partner precisely know what you want and how you want it. The worse thing is to have your boo doing things to you that you dislike, resulting in turning you off. Also, if the sessions are too short, talk to them to inform them that you need more time to reach your climax. On the other hand, you might not be attracted to your mate as much as you should. If that is the case, your body probably won’t completely savor the sex.


3. Lube it up

Sex is always better when everything flows. If you need help with friction, add in your favorite lubricant to make it easier to eliminate the irritation. When you have painful sex, your vagina dries up and you eventually do not want to continue.


4. You’re clueless

If you don’t know your spots, how can you direct your partner? One of the best ways to find your spots is to masturbate. Visit your sex store or log on to Amazon to search the latest tools. Try them out in different positions until you locate your spots.


5. Go to the bathroom

Before you get down to business, you have to empty your bladder. If you are holding in your urine, you will not be able to have an orgasm. The wrong fluid will come out if you don’t visit the restroom prior to pleasure.


6. You’re feeling down

Anxiety and depression can play a role in your orgasms. If you are not feeling happy and dealing with sadness, you will have a difficult time focusing on enjoying sex. Once you are in a better place mentally, you are likely to revel in the pleasure. If you’re taking medications, they may increase dryness or decrease your libido. Your hormones may be out of whack. Speak to your doctor about adjusting your regiment, if needed.


7. Insecurities

Sharing your body with someone is very vulnerable. All the curves and stretch marks are out in the open. When you do not feel sexy or believe they think you are desirable, it inhibits your chances to climax. Let your partner know that you need more compliments to reassure you are a sexy goddess.


8. Stimulation

Your clitoris needs attention for her to be thrilled. Without enough stimulation, you may have a tough time having an orgasm. Fingers and tongues are your friends. Whether you or your partner does it, start there so that you can have a happy ending.


Now that you can determine your obstacles, let’s get down to the fun stuff to learn how to finally get the orgasm you dreamed of.


1. Foreplay

Before you get started, you all need to explore all of your senses. Add in more touching and rubbing on each other. Kissing really upgrades your encounter by activating the endorphins and amplifying your connection. Performing oral sex as well as receiving it can elevate your gratification. As a reminder, communicate your likes and dislikes to maximize your pleasure.


2. Toys

Toys will spice up your sex life. You have so many options (flutter tip, wand, waterproof or weighted curved vibrators) to choose from that will tickle your fancy. Let them use it on you as a pre-game tactic.


3. Exercise

Being active boosts your libido. One of the most popular ways are Kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic and vaginal muscles. Cardio, weight lifting and yoga all are proven to intensify your libido.


4. Go deeper

Your emotional connection with your partner matters. Once you grow your attraction from getting to know them in non-sexual ways, your intimacy heightens. Being transparent on multiple levels offers you beneficial orgasmic outcomes.


5. Slow down

Don’t rush it, slow everything down. Spend more time setting the mood with music, massages and aromatherapy (i.e. lavender or vanilla candles/oil) as you relish in the foreplay. Experiment with various positions, especially outside of the bed. The eagerness makes your orgasm that much better!


Walk away today knowing that you can and will experience the big O…over and over again. Take a look at your preferences, stick to them and apply them during sexy time. As things change with your spots, whether you find a new one or learn how to guarantee it from a certain position, talk to your partner so that it’s incorporated in every session. Relax, relate, release!



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